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Positive Reinforcement
By Rich Kornoelje
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Several years ago I served as an assistant principal in a large public
high school of fourteen hundred students. I found many aspects of my
responsibilities both enjoyable and rewarding, however, there was little
joy or satisfaction in supervising the three lunch periods each day.
Making sure students were diligent in picking up their lunch trays, not
smearing mashed potatoes on one another, or sticking peas on the ceiling
or on their neighbors were not high on my list of "professional" things to
do.
Days prior to vacation periods were particularly bad times in the
cafeteria. It was on one of these days that I observed a student spill his
milk. What a mess. It was all down the front of him, on the table, on the
bench and on the floor. I quickly diverted my attention elsewhere and
watched him out of the corner of my eye with my superior peripheral
vision. I knew this guy would try to escape, leaving someone else (like
me) to clean up the mess. Well, I had this guy's number and as soon as he
stepped one foot outside of the cafeteria, he was going to get his. I
would make him clean up everyone else's mess for the day so he could see
how much fun it could be.
I slyly watched as he began his escape. To my surprise he approached the
snack bar upon which I was leaning and gathered several napkins and
returned to the scene of the crime. After wiping up the table, he got on
his hands and knees and wiped up the bench and then the floor. Making his
way to the exit, he deposited the soggy mess in the proper receptacle and
left the cafeteria.
After regaining my composure, I quickly followed the young man out into
the hallway. I asked him his name, thanked him for his consideration and
commended him for being so conscientious. He replied, "No problem," and
went on his way. The thought crossed my mind to contact his home, and I
determined to do it later that day.
It was a little after 5:00 P.M. when I opened my car door to go home. It
suddenly occurred to me that I had forgotten to contact the parents. My
first thought was to call the next day, but then I thought better of it
and went back to my office. After pulling his enrollment card, I went to
my phone and dialed the number listed. After a few rings a lady answered.
"Hi. This Rich Kornoelje calling from the high school."
I heard a hard swallow (or maybe it was a gulp) on the other end and
realized that the only time I ever contacted parents was when there was
trouble or bad news. I quickly said, "Your son showed me something today
that really demonstrated some good upbringing..." I then went on to relay
the story.
At first there was silence. Then I could hear a few sniffles, followed by
some sobs. After gaining her composure, the mom said, "You will never in
your entire lifetime realize what your phone call has meant to me. My
husband left me several years ago and I have had to raise this young man
by myself, and it is so hard. I know how he behaves at home with me, but I
always wonder about his behavior away from home. You will never know how
much your phone call has done for me."
That phone call was a life-changing experience for me. Since that time
many years ago, I have purposed to make at least one positive contact with
parents per week and urge – not require – my teachers to do the same. We
strive to make contact with the parents of a student who is not often
praised for his or her actions. The parents are happy, the student does
well with positive reinforcement, the teacher is blessed and everybody
wins.
Reprinted by permission of Rich
Kornoelje © 2000 from Chicken Soup for the Teacher's Soul by Jack Canfield
and Mark Victor Hansen. In order to protect the rights of the copyright
holder, no portion of this publication may be reproduced without prior
written consent. All rights reserved.
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